Guidelines for Divorcing Parents With Children

Children need to know that you approve of contact with the other parent.

Children should not be involved in parent's disagreements.

Children should be able to trust agreed upon time schedules.

Children should not be interrogated by one parent about the other parent.

Children do not want to hear negative comments about the other parent.

Children, particularly young children, need a consistent and predictable schedule.

Children need extended times with both parents.

Children should be encouraged to communicate positive feelings about both parents.

Children need to be provided with an explanation of the divorce (which may need to be reexplained when they grow older)

Children need ongoing reassurance that they were not responsible for the divorce.

Children need to be reassured of continued love from both parents.

Children should not be in the unfair position of carrying messages between parents.

Children should not be burdened with unnecessary details(i.e. finances)

Children should be able to maintain contacts with their extended family.

Children should be helped to defuse reconciliation fantasies by knowing the truth about the realities of the divorce.

Cannon, David "Guidelines for Separating Parents," Shared Parenting Group, January 3, 1997.